By Erin McLaughlin
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA — Since 1994, after his infamous murder of Santa Claus, the name Tim Allen has caused people across the globe to cower in fear and question the morality of the American legal system. According to police reports of the incident, Allen committed the murder when he supposedly thought an intruder was attempting to enter his home. Soon after, Allen fled to the North Pole and disguised himself as Santa Claus in a failed attempt to escape charges.
“The act was undeniably driven by rage, considering it happened soon after his ex-wife got remarried to, as Tim Allen stated, ‘some quack psychiatrist.’ Clearly, Allen has some serious anger management issues that resulted in tragic consequences,” said forensic psychologist Gunter Burke during the initial 1994 trial.
After a long 24 years, Allen has finally been sentenced for the murder. The court ruled that he must serve the rest of his life in prison, and will be forced to watch re-runs of “Home Improvement” for twelve hours each day.
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