President Trump Adopts Pet Shark Named Tiffany to Soften White House Image
Breaking / National

President Trump Adopts Pet Shark Named Tiffany to Soften White House Image

By Constantine Markotsis Mar a Lago— In an attempt to improve the president’s poll ratings, the beleaguered Trump administration has decided that a white house pet could help to distract the public from the guffaws and errors of the administration. It is typical for a first family to have a dog; but Mr. Trump has … Continue reading

Campus / Local / National

Tampa-Based News Station Reports on Beef Stolen at BU Because There Is Clearly Nothing Else Important Going on in Tampa Right Now

Earlier this week, a horrific crime was committed on the Binghamton University campus. Jake Muller, a sophomore resident in Mohawk, discovered 15 pounds of ground beef that had been discarded in a toilet. The event has left an entire building on campus without a taco-based RA event. Luckily Fox 13 WTVT, a Tampa-based Fox affiliate, … Continue reading

Articles / National

Melania Trump Brings Awareness to Cyber Bullying Victims by Wearing Dress of Donald Trump Tweets

                      After months of silence and disinterest, Melania Trump finally made the bold first step towards her long-awaited anti-cyberbullying initiative. Yesterday, while addressing the public, the First Lady debuted a stunning white cashmere mini-dress, affixed with pointed shoulders and imprinted with a select catalog of … Continue reading