President Trump Adopts Pet Shark Named Tiffany to Soften White House Image
Breaking / National

President Trump Adopts Pet Shark Named Tiffany to Soften White House Image

By Constantine Markotsis Mar a Lago— In an attempt to improve the president’s poll ratings, the beleaguered Trump administration has decided that a white house pet could help to distract the public from the guffaws and errors of the administration. It is typical for a first family to have a dog; but Mr. Trump has … Continue reading

Breaking / Campus

Freshman Tries GIM Pizza Only Diet for Two Weeks: Found Dead

Vestal, NY- BU Freshman Tracy McGompers was found dead in her dorm in Newing this morning. The detectives that arrived on scene nonchalantly described the cause of death as “Nirchis”             Tracy, a bio-chemistry major and notorious cheapo decided that in order to save her meal plan money, she would exclusively eat GIM pizza for … Continue reading