STUDENT OVERCONFIDENT THAT NEGATIVE SOOT SURVEY WILL BRING DOWN RESPECTED TENURED PROFESSOR
Administration / Campus

STUDENT OVERCONFIDENT THAT NEGATIVE SOOT SURVEY WILL BRING DOWN RESPECTED TENURED PROFESSOR

James Wright has had more than a few gripes in his history seminar. The freshman economics major says the whole semester has been turbulent because of his professor.  “College is a lot of fun, but he made my first semester more stressful than it should have been,” said Wright. “He came a half hour late … Continue reading

Binghamton Becomes Ivy League School By Stealing Ivy From Cornell Buildings
Administration / Local

Binghamton Becomes Ivy League School By Stealing Ivy From Cornell Buildings

Ithaca, NY— Last weekend Harvey Stenger sent in Binghamton University students on a top secret mission to take Binghamton University to the next level. The objective was to seize Ivy League status by having an abundance of ivy on BU’s campus.   The squadron parachuted into Cornell consisted of environmental studies and biology majors armed … Continue reading

Sophomore Expelled After Muzzy Confesses He Wrote Her Spanish 115 Essay
Administration / Campus

Sophomore Expelled After Muzzy Confesses He Wrote Her Spanish 115 Essay

Sophomore Tina Lambert was expelled Thursday on accounts of plagiarism, after the furry extraterrestrial Muzzy admitted to the foreign language department that he wrote her Spanish 115 essay.   Since his fall in stardom after the launch of Google Translate, Muzzy took to the streets of Binghamton; living off Rolling Rocks and $1 McDonald’s meals. … Continue reading