Campus Voices / Opinion

THEATER DEPARTMENT FINDS MORE WAYS TO BE OBNOXIOUS BY OFFERING BFA IN MUSICAL THEATER

theater mfaOp-Ed: Because the same five students are rotated as leads in Mainstage shows, the theater department has decided to give other students a chance by offering a BFA in musical theater.

When I spoke to Heather Warren she said she’s excited to show her parents that her hobby can also be considered a career, to which I said “maybe?”  Needless to say, this made her livid: “It’s an art form, you Neanderthal,” she snapped at me while speaking in an English accent (she’s lived in Westchester her whole life), because that’s what some theater kids do to act like they’re just a week away from teaching at Princeton.

Theater professor Amy Wizer says that a shot in the arm to musical theater on campus would be beneficial for the entire student body. Wizer remarked: “It’s an absolute gift. The halls of Fine Arts will be filled with even more fine art. We want to begin a community service program where musical theater students go to the Engineering Building and bless the students with their talents because those uncultured swine science people rarely experience art.”

Child psychologist John Walker explained why a BFA in musical theater can be used as a form of therapy: “For young adults that crave constant attention a BFA in musical theater would be a substitute for parental love.” All I could do was quote an orange and said “Sad!”

Expect to hear a lot more singing on campus, the quality of which may or may not be better than the acapella kids. To be fair, have you ever talked to those guys? They’re actually pretty cool. Some of them are studying to become doctors. Wouldn’t that be funny; a singing doctor. Lol.

By K.C. Grimston

 

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