Campus / The BUTThole

Every Floor in Bartle Library Tower Ranked. #12 May Surprise You!

The Bartle Library Tower is Binghamton University’s giant friend. In what order are the floors stacked? Find out in the official ranking of all 16!

#1: First floor
By far the biggest and most elaborate, the first floor comes first numerically. Studies show that most Binghamton students get into the library by way of the first floor, making it a popular place for both entry and exit.

#2: Second floor
Just a stone’s throw away from the first floor is the iconic second floor. Try not to make eye contact with your neighbors as you press the elevator button for this floor. Nobody’s judging you, but you’ll feel like they are.

#3: Third floor
This big guy is similar to asking someone for a taste of their sandwich and instead of taking a single bite, you eat the crusty perimeter and hand the sandwich back with no apology.

#4: Fourth floor
If you take the stairs to this floor when presented with a gaping elevator, you are not ‘Ivy of the SUNYs’ material.

#5: Fifth floor
Hidden in the walls are the original clay tablets upon which the epic of Gilgamesh was engraved. A real hot spot for English majors!

#6: Sixth floor
No one has ever been there, but the faint, rhythmic creaking of a teeter-totter can be heard as the elevator zips past.

#7: Seventh floor
Contains multiple small offices surrounding a common space. The offices are generally reserved for graduate students and professors. Typical place to beg for a passing grade from your TA.

#8: Eighth floor
As the architectural halfway point, this is where the hinge is located. During the summer, the tower folds over to the west. We don’t want them to find us.

#9: Ninth Floor
The universal favorite floor. This floor has not a single flaw and might be the epitome of all creation. Anyone who speaks ill of the almighty Ninth Floor shall be smote, praise be.

#10: Tenth floor
Everyone on this floor looks forward to and takes part in Wacky Sweater Wednesday. The competition is fierce this semester, so enter with caution.

#11: Eleventh floor
Gravity is a little bit weaker on this floor than all others. It’s not too noticeable but you might want to wear stickier-than-average shoes.

#12: Twelfth floor
Boo! Haha, just kidding. We like to have fun here.

#13: Thirteenth floor
Really silly cat-themed calendars on every wall. Like, too silly. Unnervingly silly.

#14: Fourteenth floor
The Judas to the Ninth Floor’s glowing opulence. This is where demons are born and angels wither. Time stops short upon entry and the desks are littered with otherworldly creatures. An unholy, unspeakable place.

#15: Fifteenth floor
The BU Brain is located here. Give it a poke, see what happens!

#16: Sixteenth floor
The highest point mankind has ever reached, the height of architectural prowess and the bravest floor I know, the sixteenth floor is a great example for what our children should strive to become.

Well, that’s the official floor plan. Comment if you disagree with this unchangeable order!

By Sara Cantor

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