Campus

Sophomore Girls Give Teary Goodbyes To Senior Sweethearts Going Off To Workforce

By Mary Louise Porker

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The grainy footage, seen here, showing the loving goodbyes between the guys and gals.

Grainy footage reveals a gaggle of young sophomores bidding their true loves a bittersweet adieu before their brave men enter the unknown job climate. In a scene many would call despondent, one woman recounts how she will bare the challenges of departing from her dear beau.

“I just know my Johnny will come back for me,” says overly optimistic English major Mary May. “He may not live to afford a place in Brooklyn, but if he does, I just know he’ll take me with him.”

Some women discuss the uphill battle they will have to endure to make their love last.

“I know as long as there’s breath in my body, our love is meant to be,” Louise Farley boasts of her undeniable romance with her already employed swain Roger Smith. “I will wait an eternity – two months – before I have to download Tinder.”

One woman was hesitant about her boyfriend’s leaving the university.

“Yeah, I don’t know why they put him on a train. Like an old one. With 50 other senior guys. Shit’s weird, but it was kinda hot, all of em on top of each other like that.” says ambivalent lover Josie McGuire.

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