By Christopher Kirkpatrick
Badass RA, seen here, will break at least three rules in the time before winter break.
Winter break will soon begin. By next Friday, most students will be done with exams and go home. Not the Resident Assistants. The RAs stay on campus for an extra day and “check the dorms for fire violations.”
The BUTT has multiple inside sources, that shall remain nameless for their safety, who told us of the RA antics during this time. One Dickinson RA informed The BUTT that “Every RA breaks at least three rules from student code of conduct” during these day(s) without residents. The RA continued, “It’s insanity.”
A Mountainview resident who returned from Thanksgiving break early informed this reporter that he witnessed “Naked RA’s playing beer pong in the lounge and everyone drinking the same mixed drink like they’re in a cult.”
One secret RA source was unable to confirm or deny these reports, but referred to a mixed drink allegedly popular among some RAs. “They call it the room condition report. Every community has their own little twist. CIW’s is the best. It’s a meticulous series of actions that includes at least two bong hits, some craft beer, dining hall apple juice, and tequila.”
The BUTT has not heard from any of our secret sources in four days. Anyone who would like to join the (search) party should email thebuttlostitsinsidemennoitsinsidepeopleits2016pleasehelpus@hotmail.com.
The BUTT 