Campus

Student Caught Watching Porn in Bartle Library Turns Out To Just Be Watching HBO Go; Is Commended For Terrific Taste in Television

By Jeremy Kaplowitz

bing butt hbo porn pic

Jason Levy watching HBO Go.

Controversy ensued today when junior Jason Levy was caught watching graphic pornography very publicly in the Bartle pods but the uproar soon settled down once it was discovered that he was simply catching up on the newest season of Game of Thrones.

“At first I was extremely upset,” said sophomore Sarah Wood, “But once I found out he was just watching the scene where Daenerys throws Jon Snow over a table and makes love to him from behind using a dildo, I was excited! I pulled up a chair next to him and made a new friend. It’s great to know that so many students in Binghamton appreciate good art.”

Other students expressed similar sentiments. A senior who wished to remain anonymous said, “I’m glad he wasn’t watching porn and I’m even more glad he wasn’t watching The Big Bang Theory. I didn’t even really care that there were no other computers and I had to print out my essay due in 10 minutes.”

UPDATE: Controversy was reignited after the episode ended when it was revealed that despite not watching porn, Jason Levy was indeed masturbating.

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